“Communication usually fails, except by accident.”
-Osmo Antero Wiio, Finnish academic, author, and member of parliament
The following is loosely based on a true story.
One evening, a navy ship was patrolling for pirates near some fairly busy sea lanes. The commanding officer turned over the watch to a junior officer, and to prevent any mishaps drew a rectangular box on the chart and ordered their subordinate to “stay in the box.” The captain then went to their quarters to sleep. Later that night, a freighter was detected on a course that would cross the path of the navy ship. The officer now faced a dilemma: avoid the collision or stay in the box.
To the civilians reading this, the answer seems straightforward. But I suspect that more than a few veterans reading this can predict what happened: the ships collided.
It seems obvious—what a dumb, avoidable accident! And if there were injuries or fatalities, it’s a criminally dumb, avoidable accident. But take another look.
The instructions were clear, and they were followed. No doubt the captain thought the young officer would avoid any other ships while staying within the box or would understand that leaving the box was better than a collision. The young officer was imagining having to explain to their superior that they had disobeyed orders only to avoid a collision that didn’t happen.
It would be easy to call this a lack of communication, but the communication was clear. It was a lack of connection. The captain had created an atmosphere where fear of failure had in fact created failure. The young officer was afraid to do what they absolutely knew was the correct thing to do: avoid a collision.
Having a connection with your subordinates doesn’t mean you are weak, or lacking leadership—it means they get you, and you get them, man. It means they understand that if they leave the box to avoid a collision, that is a good thing. And it means that you don’t have to spell out what to do in every possible scenario, because you trust them to know what’s important, and will back them up.
Consider asking a direct report to “look in to outsourcing IT.” Does that mean doing some research and reporting back? Does it mean doing a lot of research and writing a report? Does it mean bringing a couple of other people on board and doing a cost/benefit analysis? They should clarify, right? But weren’t you just the other day talking about how much “hand-holding” you have to do? One way that communication fails is when it’s just one-way. Two-way communication is another way of saying “connection.”
The Charge of the Light Brigade by Richard Caton Woodville Jr. The light brigade was slaughtered because their commanders, who hated each other, miscommunicated and misconstrued orders: a case of NO connection causing poor communication resulting in catastrophe.
Articles about corporate communication and good leadership abound, and I’d encourage you to read them if you’d like to learn more. But you probably already know a lot of that. So, here’s the thing: Do you listen to your spouse or partner, or do you hear them? Do you look at them, or do you see them? It’s the same at work: Making connections facilitates communication and understanding. You are working with people—not just roles—at your job all day, every day. That’s a relationship, so the least you can do is see them for who they are, and relate, man.
Connection on the job is not about just being a nice guy; it’s about being relating effectively to accomplish a task. And it’s a skill we all can work on.
Written by: Jeffrey Dewhurst