My husband and I share the birthday month of September. I turned forty-one this year, and my husband would have turned forty-three. Sadly, we lost him in April to brain cancer. During his end-of-life care, while balancing work, caring for our eight-year-old daughter, and trying to keep life afloat, my evenings became a small window of peace that I looked forward to. When the house quieted down and the lights dimmed, I’d sit in silence and color. As soon as the marker touched the page, the colors would bleed into the lines in an oddly satisfying way, an instant escape that quieted my mind and allowed me to simply be.
For anyone who has never tried coloring as an adult, it can almost sound too simple. But there’s something grounding about the process as you watch the design slowly come to life. What began as basic coloring quickly evolved into a more creative process as I added shadows, textures, highlights, and patterns. I use Ohuhu alcohol markers, and it must be the brush tip, because nothing else gives the same smooth feeling on the page.
There was one coloring session that I treasure. My husband had always been creative. He worked as a graphic designer, loved building Lego, and appreciated anything that allowed him to create. He had not engaged in anything artistic for many months. Even though his coordination was limited, I asked him to color with our daughter and me. He took his time choosing colors, and watching him create and participate brought me an overwhelming sense of joy. We played music, and the three of us sat together laughing, talking, singing, and coloring. It was a tender and meaningful moment that I hold close to my heart.
Once the Hobby Program resumed, I immediately applied to use the funds to purchase a new set of markers. When I first began coloring, I worked with a limited collection, and over time, many of them dried out, and I found myself unable to continue the hobby in the same meaningful way. Coloring had become an important outlet, and I wanted to replenish my collection so I could keep this practice going. The Hobby Program gave me the opportunity to invest in a legitimate set of markers that truly expanded my creativity and provided a calming space where I could process grief.
I used to believe hobbies were a luxury I did not have time for. My family relied on me in so many ways that carving out moments just for myself often felt selfish. But what I’ve learned is that having something small, something creative, something yours, isn’t selfish. It is essential. Coloring became more than a hobby. It became a space for healing, reflection, and calm in the middle of life’s chaos. I am deeply grateful to AMSG for supporting employees through programs that recognize the importance of creativity, hobbies, and emotional wellness. Sometimes it is the smallest things that hold us together during the hardest moments.
Written by: Meerna Hamdan
